What is a New Year’s Resolution?

A New Year’s resolution is a commitment that a person makes to one or more lasting personal goals, projects, or the reforming of a habit. This goal must be reached by the next New Year. Keep in mind that this is a goal, not a wish and should be something that you as a person could strive for.

How you should set up your New Year’s Resolution?

One must be a realist when it comes to setting New Year’s Resolution. Your resolutions should consist of reachable goals that are realistic and positive. Ignore setting fairy tale goals that are nearly impossible such as “walking across the pacific ocean by November” or “To get all my enemies together and drug them all” etc. The focus should be to improve you without disapproving anyone else.

How to reach your resolutions?

To find any success in your resolutions you have to BELIEVE, become COMMITTED, and become CONSISTENT.

Believing: will help you build the confidence you need to make it happen. Once you believe you can reach those goals you won’t rest till what you believe becomes true. Believing will raise your expectations and your expectations will fuel your motivation and work ethic and from there on you’ll be well in your way.
Commitment: is the step that will make it happen. Commitment comes from believing. Once you believe you can make it happen, you will commit till it happens. Without commitment, your goals are simply beliefs that will never become reality. Faith without works is dead.
Consistency: will make it happen. Once you’re committed you will begin building on consistency. It’s through consistency progression will come. Consistency will show you what will work and wont. Consistency will help you go past the failures you will meet. Consistency will keep you pushing forward until you fall in the right place. You have to be consistent to see success.

Last year’s resolution is done with, focus on this year’s resolution. Just because you didn’t make it happen last year doesn’t mean you can’t make it this year. It’s time to believe, commit and be consistent. 2013 is your year, own it…

]]> http://lifedictionary.org/Site/2013/01/new-years-resolutions-how-to-make-it-happen/feed/ 0 http://lifedictionary.org/Site/2012/03/the-cons-of-twitter-the-bad-side-effects/ http://lifedictionary.org/Site/2012/03/the-cons-of-twitter-the-bad-side-effects/#comments Thu, 08 Mar 2012 17:57:07 +0000 Pierre Jeanty http://lifedictionary.org/Site/?p=288 We can all agree that twitter is one of the best social networks out and it has helped many cure their boredom, grow their business, find or build their career, meet new friends and so on. Throughout my time of twitter, these are the cons I’ve ran into.

Twitter opens the door for you to be whoever you want. This is a great thing if your focus is right, however there are countless individuals using it for the wrong reasons. They use twitter as a tool to create an identity that doesn’t match them and identity that makes them more in the eyes of those they’re trying to impress or an identity of who they’ve always wanted to be based on what they’ve witnessed. Since I’ve opened my Twitter account, I have seen people use fake pictures to present themselves as a more beautiful/handsome/fit person that they are not. I’ve seen some people tweet things that don’t even align with their lifestyle or their thought process, and I’ve also seen people post fake photos of their possessions and so forth to look cool. People have abused the opportunity twitter opened for you to create yourself.

Some people see it as competitive tool, it’s all about gaining FOLLOWERS. In my early days on twitter I always notice that people cared about followers but they weren’t as “follower hungry”. Now people have noticed how popular their twitter can get based on their tweets and all of their focus is on followers. More than half of twitter is used for the purpose of gaining followers. When twitter created the retweet back in 09, it boosted the desire for people to be unauthentic because tweets were capable of being noticed on other timelines and get other tweeters followers to follow you. I will admit, I was even moved by the change. There was a part of my life on Twitter where I would say things in a manner that would attract more followers. I’ve learned overtime that being yourself in your tweets is far more effective and it might even gain followers for you. It may be a slow process but the results of it are great crowds of people to interact with. This competitive and thirst for fame is what made twitter become a quote site. There are thousands of quote pages on twitter with stolen materials. Originality and authenticity have become rare.

Twitter also causes some to be more prideful and others to be more jealous and envious. Many but NOT all who have found success on twitter tend to get cocky once their twitter fame hits and they communicate and reply or respond to only certain people. Some tweeters tend to believe they are better than people who have less followers etc. It’s very ugly. I can say not all because I’m one of the people who many think that I appear to be prideful but I’m not. I reply to tweets I see, I don’t stay on and honestly I don’t stay on twitter too long. I follow a certain number of people only because I am careful with what I read and if it’s not edifying me, I don’t keep it on my timeline. The other side of people not having as many followers is some tweeters grow jealous of those with followers, criticizing everything they tweet and saying negative comments towards them. Most start to envy other people doing better than them. This also falls under this competitive spirit I spoke of earlier.

There are hateful messages people send to others, which is called roasting. It’s simply a form of bullying in which some of the slanderers call it “comedy”. A lot of people have deleted their accounts & some people even commit suicide due to the constant tormenting of fellow tweeters. People are hacking accounts, stealing tweets and so forth.

Twitter is a great if you’re looking to take all the positive routes (Check out “The pros of having twitter” for some examples) with it but it can also be used for negative purposes. At the end of the day, it’s simply your choice.

Twitter allows you to voice your opinions and express your thoughts which can help others and even attract like-minded people. When I started getting serious about my walk with GOD a while back, I deleted my old twitter and created a new page where I posted things that were relevant to my walk, I shared most of my new discoveries/revelations and thoughts and so forth. With the help of previous friends etc. my tweets started finding its way around twitter and attracted like-minded individuals to follow me.

It opens the door for good friendships, connects and even relationships.  As like-minded individuals continued to follow me, I would often find myself checking out some of my follower’s timelines and follow them back. Through doing this, I’ve met a lot of people whom I’m good friends with. I’ve also met people who were interested in me and my message and invited me to speak on conference calls, events and so forth. Although twitter isn’t a dating site, numerous relationships have come forth through it. Most people consider meeting someone online lame but they fail to notice that if you’re being your true self, you will attract people who think like you do and someone you’ve met could possibly be your partner. I’ve never dated anyone off twitter but I’ve interacted with people who’ve gotten married to someone they met on there, and know few who are engaged and know some dating. Relationships starting from twitter are possible.

It allows you to market yourself or your business a better way. Many small businesses have capitalized off twitter. Twitter simply makes it easier and more possible for them to meet numerous possible consumers. If you are trying to brand yourself as well, there are countless opportunities. For instance, I know a few t-shirt businesses that are growing; and books that are selling because of twitter. I myself have met a good amount of clients who went through my life coaching business through twitter. The opportunities are there; you just have to present it well and most importantly be genuine and honest.

Beside these pros, twitter has helped careers launch and start good partnerships. It has even helped some people create relationships with celebrities. There are many great things for twitter users. However not everyone has experienced the pros simply because they are consumed by the cons. Read “The cons of twitter” to see the things that can make you miss out on the good.

This idea will drain you…

The more you jump from one relationship to another, the more
of yourself you are giving away. Every relationship you enter requires much
time and energy. You are investing yourself mentally, emotionally and
physically. If you don’t slow down, you will burn yourself out on an emotional
and mental level, which leads to affecting the physical. Your heart can only
suffer from so many heartbreaks. Even if you’re not getting heartbroken, you
are still consistently failing at one area in your life, which eventually
becomes draining. Jumping from relationship to relationship is very unhealthy.

Love has to find you…

Another thing people fail to recognize is that love is not
self-seeking. You don’t chase and catch love, you ought to wait for it and then
fall in it. If we knew where to find love, we wouldn’t be searching for it in
all the wrong places. Jumping from relationship to relationship will make it
tougher to find love. You might miss your first chance to connect with the
right one, simply because you are stuck with the wrong one. Most say that you
might miss the right one being with the wrong one. Personally, I don’t believe
you ever miss the right one if they are who you’re supposed to be with. However
you are delaying that beautiful relationship that you are supposed to have with
them.

This will rob you of yourself.

Most people tend to go through numerous partners simply
because they don’t know how to be happy alone. Jumping from relationship to
relationship will only keep you from finding the real you. People who do go
through a lot of relationships tend to have a void in them, which has to be
dealt with before anyone can attempt to find a partner. However most people
don’t understand that, so they keep dating different people to fill that void. They
rely on others for happiness and dating becomes addictive and purposeless to
them.

Conclusion…

Jumping from relationship to relationship may seem to be a
good tactic to find true love, but it is wrong. The more you are placing Mr. or
Mrs. right now into your life the fewer
doors you have open for Mr. or Mrs. right
to come in life. Constant dating will only drain you, confuse you of what love
is, keep you from knowing yourself, and being happy with who you are. I am by
no means saying don’t date or stay away from relationships. I am saying pick
your relationships wisely; make sure they can produce something great. Don’t
just jump into them. Also make sure that you are ready and make sure that
you’re not forcing anything. Let it work it’s own course. After your break-ups,
take some time to learn from your mistakes. Out of your failed relationship,
you can learn things about yourself that you never knew. Be patient and wise,
love isn’t self-seeking.

To win against loneliness one must:

Firstly, LOVE YOURSELF. It is crucial to start learning about the person in the mirror. Take time studying yourself, find out what you like to do, what you like to watch, how can you become better, what changes need to be made and so on. As you learn to love yourself, enjoying your own company becomes a “Me time” rather than “no one wants to be with me time”. Sometimes we get so caught up in having company around us to a point where we feel empty when we in the midst of our own company. Once you love yourself being your own company becomes normal, you don’t feel alone or unwanted etc.

Secondly, GET HEALTHY. Most don’t see the affect their health has on them. When you choose to eat better and exercise, your confidence gets a boost. The more confident you are the more you understand that forcing people into your life and forcing yourself into relationships only bring forth bad solutions. The confidence will make you see people that are in your life as a blessing not a necessity. It makes you comfortable in your own skin. It kills the crazy side effects of loneliness, such as feeling unwanted, feeling uncomfortable in your own skin etc. Exercising also consumes your time therefore it cuts down the amount of time you spend meditating on how lonely you are.

Thirdly, GET ACTIVE. When we have a great amount of free time, we mainly use it to think. Our thoughts sometimes are misleading. Your thoughts will open so many doors for certain topics you’re thinking about. For instance, just thinking about relationships can lead to you think about past relationships, to making you realize how much singleness sucks, to feeling as a loner alone and unwanted, to being governed by loneliness and making horrible decisions. Being active allows your mind to be free of your issues. It clears your thoughts of your misery. Doing activities with friends, going out, doing things that keep you from falling into boredom where your mind will go wondering and slap you with the worst

Most importantly, GET IN TUNE WITH GOD. When you have a relationship with GOD through Christ, you understand that the spirit of GOD dwells in you. You understand that you are truly loved and GOD is always there for you. Knowing you’re a beloved son or daughter of GOD will beat loneliness on the head. The feeling of feeling unwanted, being uncomfortable with you, making decisions out of desperation and so on all slowly die. Getting in tune with GOD will open the door for you to learn how to love yourself and do the rest. It will make you feel comfortable in your own skin and understand that you have the best company in the world; GOD.

Those are major ways you can conquer loneliness, if not at least tame it. But I believe if you are doing your best practicing these things it’s more than possible.

Another thing that can help cure your loneliness is forgiveness. Often people pull themselves into loneliness because their unforgiving heart causes them to let no one into their lives. You must find freedom. Peace and joy has to be found and kept for you to beat loneliness properly.

 Loneliness is a powerful emotion that feeds off lust.

Loneliness blinds people of reality and makes them crave the wrong things.

Loneliness is a very cancerous and needs to be treated on a consistent basis.

As a single young man, I very much understand how powerful loneliness is. I am more than aware of the damage it can possibly do to your life. It fuels bad decisions, forces some to go desperate measures, sponsors depression etc. As Mother Teresa quoted “Loneliness is the most terrible poverty”. If one allows loneliness to govern them, they will simply attract the worst into their lives.

As single individuals feeling lonely is one of the toughest feelings we fight on a consistent basis. It is natural for human beings to want companionship, to desire love in a romantic stage; however we can seek those things in the wrong manner. (i.e. getting into the wrong relationship because you got tired of being lonely) It is very essential to wait for the right time, to make the right decisions to get the right things…especially when it comes to relationships.

Many people are allowing loneliness to control them without recognizing that loneliness is at the foundation of many of their errors. What are some of the things loneliness fuel?

• -Unhealthy relationship: Many are trapped into abusive relationships, relationships where they aren’t even accepted, they are used and so forth. Loneliness caused them to enter those relationships out of desperation. When it comes to leaving, although it’s best for them, they refuse to so, they don’t want the old feelings of feeling lonely to return and build the fear of being alone. This leads to them settling for less than they deserve and store up pain in exchange of companionship.
• -Unplanned Pregnancies: The rate of single parents is rising daily. People are having kids due to poor decisions and the true colors of their partner seem to come into the light after the pregnancy. Being lonely can push you to fall in what you believe is love quick and make unmindful decisions such as unprotected sex with the wrong person.
• -Addictions: Some drink, smoke and do all sort of drugs due to loneliness. Most can’t see loneliness in the root of their issues so they believe it’s just a hobby. However being lonely can cause you to change to lifestyles that will make you believe that you are getting rid of the loneliness; when in reality you’re simply going deeper in misery. Many go drink and smoke to get rid of the feeling because they feel miserable in their own company. They feel worthless not being worth much to anyone. That leads to partying and meeting up with the wrong people, doing the wrong things etc.

There are many other things such as creating wrong friends, living a promiscuous lifestyles, depression etc. that people lean to as medicine to their loneliness.

Loneliness is behind most of the horrible dating decisions we’ve made. The void created by loneliness feed itself on anything, mainly temporary things creating the idea in our mind that it will last long. Loneliness makes you believe lust in love, it will make you believe that sex builds love. It will make you give yourself away to anyone and give in to anything. You must fight that emotion daily and recognize the pressure it puts on you. If you want to learn how to properly fight loneliness, please read my blog on it How to win the fight against loneliness Loneliness is real and dealing with it is a must.

Most of us are aware of the power words have to uplift others but we tend to ignore the power it has to also destroy others. All around the world numerous souls are abused by words daily. As friends, family members, or relationship partners we often say things we don’t mean and assume saying sorry will heal it. We often speak out of anger freely without considering the power of what comes out of our mouth. That has to be changed; your tongue has to be tamed.

Your words can cut deep and be a greater negative force than any physical pain can ever be. Words are capable of being memorized, they are capable of penetrating thoughts, and they are capable of fueling certain emotions and so forth. When you use degrading words towards someone not only does it have an instant affect, it is also retained and will continue to have an effect as long as the victim keep it in mind.

Verbal abuse has fueled countless suicides cases, countless crime by victims trying to bring their pain to an end, many broken homes and so forth. Verbal abuse has been taking too lightly in this world. It is also a form of bullying that is often ignored.

How to keep yourself from verbally abusing others?

Think before you speak. If you have nothing nice to say to someone practice holding your tongue. Contrary to popular beliefs biting your tongue is a wise move. One who doesn’t hold his/her tongue and quick to voice their anger is simply a foolish individual. Even the in the bible, the book of Proverbs advises us to watch what we say. In the book of James as well it says:

 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.  Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell -James 3:3-6

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.-James 3:9-12

This points out the power in our tongues. In the early chapter of James it says be “Quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to wrath” which has to be practiced for us to tame our tongues. Life and death is in the power of the tongue, consider this before you speak.

How to free yourself from verbal abuse?

After so many emotional scars from the words of others it’s often hard for a victim to even move forward and leave behind the abuse case. If you are a victim currently getting verbally abused, the first step is to make the person abusing you aware. Many are not aware of what they are doing. If making them aware does not lead them to stop, focus on boxing them out of your life and seek help. The next step is to forgive the person who has verbally abused you. Forgiving them allows you to find freedom, peace and to let go of their words. It allows the scars to heal. Besides forgiving them, letting go of the experience and leaving the experience in the past is the best way to move forward.

Whether you’re serious or joking, put others’ feelings before your words. Be considerate of others’ feeling. If you are angry, don’t speak out of anger but wait until all is calm to even say anything to anyone. Put yourself in a victim shoes, how would you feel? You may say, “I wouldn’t care”, but that’s because you’re not truly visualizing yourself in their shoes. The words that come out of our mouth have power. Speak life into others’ life instead of death. Be positive. Words matter, use them wisely.

To heal properly and move on properly you must: 1.) Get rid of self-denial stages 2.) Accept reality 3.) Cut off souvenirs 4.) Remember the cons 5.) Vent properly 6.) FOCUS ON YOU.

Getting rid of self-denial is one of the hardest stages when it comes to moving on. Most find it extremely hard to accept the fact that things have ended. Mentally many choose to battle reality, making them believe that the break up is just a disagreement and things will be restored soon. Self-denial tends to blind people with false hope.

To get past self-denial, it is essential to rely on your brain and reality to make judgments. Your emotions and memories will take you further into self-denial rather than help you make clear decisions. You have to come to realize that the relationship ended, the mutual feelings no longer exist and march forward, otherwise, that person will be living their life as you put yours on pause because of them. You have to let go.

Accepting reality always falls behind self-denial. Once you start understanding things are over, your eyes will begin to open, you’ll start accepting the bad news and all will start to become okay. The accepting reality stage is often the easiest but most painful part of moving on. If it’s not handled properly it can lead you down the wrong path. When you begin to accept that it’s over, it’s very essential to find peace during that stage. Some operate out of anger and proceed to doing things they find vengeful or they rush into other relationships to heal the pain.

Once you accept reality its best to let it sink in. It sinking in will lead you to consider the pros and the cons. You should keep the pros in mind to apply into your next relationship(s) and pick the lessons learned from the cons.

Cutting souvenirs makes the moving on process go a lot smoother. Souvenirs trigger memories; rarely do they trigger the bad memories. The souvenirs such as photos, cards, shirts and so forth will lead you to relive the good times in the relationship and start to doubt. The souvenirs will lead you to doubt that things ended, doubt that you’re ready to move on, doubt that your partner have moved on and so forth. Souvenirs can trap you into a regretful stage and guide you into depression and sadness. Cutting them away is a must. You should also remind yourself you’re not doing it because you hate them but because you’re ready for the next phase.

Remembering the cons is simply using the right memories for the right reasons. Good memories make you want to relive the relationship and the bad ones make you want to never go back to it. When you decide to think about the bad, most tend to fall into “I deserve better mode”, they tend to open their eyes and see all of the wrongs and come to the conclusion they want a relationship without those issues or less issues. Like accepting reality bad results can come from this stage. Do not use this step as a reason to hate your ex, but a reason to see why things wouldn’t work.

Venting properly is very necessary. When we are going through break ups, dealing with heartbreaks and so forth we feel the need to express how we feel. Either we do it the wrong way or keep it bottled in until it suffocates our happiness and pretend to be over it.

When you feel the need to air out your thoughts, DO IT. Write, talk to someone, talk to someone who can provide unbiased and proper counseling (such as a life coach like me
), do not bottle them in or they will eventually fill up your heart until it overflows, which leads to them spilling out in the wrong manner. Whatever you do, stay away from venting to bitter friends, or those who can’t provide health advice.

Lastly, focus on you. This is the hardest part for many folks. Most tend to rush past this stage and rush into a relationship, mainly because they dislike being alone and feel the need to find someone better and build something better right away. It is nearly impossible not to repeat similar mistakes and get different results when you didn’t give yourself a chance to learn from the last relationship and get into a new one as an improved you. Rushing into relationship after relationship is simply practicing failure.

Take time to learn about yourself, learn from your errors, analyze and give yourself time to take in the relationship lessons you learned. Take time to get to know yourself and love yourself so it can open doors for someone to get to know you and love you. This is also a great time to focus on God; work on your relationship with him, that alone will lead to a better you…the real you and to the right one for you.

Moving on is tough but very much needed, letting go is impossible but it’s important. Your focus shouldn’t be to get over the person but to get over your past and build a better present and future. It’s vital to move on properly and take the right steps to move on.  Consider these steps and you’ll see change. There are many other steps as well, but these are very essential and healthy.

All emotions aren’t bad but, all emotions aren’t good. Happiness is an emotion and so is sadness. When those who are aware of the destruction emotions can bring try to warn you to not let emotions govern you, they are simply advising you to not let the negative emotions take over and sometimes it’s best to keep both positive and negative emotions out of the picture.

Emotions can cause us to make decisions based on how we feel, rather than on what needs to be done. If your decision is sparked by positive or negative emotions then in some cases, its best to keep your emotions uninvolved. When one is operating on negative emotions, they tend to make decisions that will bring forth bad results. Negative emotions only help you dig a deeper grave for yourself. It can lead you to be blinded, keep you from doing what is right and what needs to be done. However, positive emotions can have the same effect. Unlike negative emotions, positive emotions help you focus on good results. The only issue with this is that positive emotions can cause you to be overly optimistic and forget to see and do things more in a realistic manner.

Emotions allow us to experience the good and the bad of life. Emotions are simply a human trait; it isn’t a man or woman thing. We all have emotions and feel a certain way about certain things at a certain time. Although emotions exist, positive emotions are great but its best to keep both away from certain decisions especially when it comes to love. Taking emotions out of important issues allows you to be realistic rather than being overly optimistic or pessimistic.

Impatience…

Impatience is the main reason behind this question. We are very impatient when it comes to finding the right companion. We would rather date around to see if we could land on the right one instead of waiting on the perfect timing GOD has planned for all of us to bump into our future spouse. Society has made many believe that love is self-seeking when in reality it’s far from the truth. With the idea that it’s self-seeking, many rush into relationships for various reasons: looks, similarities, or because they see character traits that are different from the previous partner. People rush into relationships for any reason beside the fact that they know it’s right and that it will work out until death separates them. Most decide to enter relationships without thinking long term and without considering the destruction it might bring to them or their partner emotionally if it doesn’t work out. They just want to be with someone and hope that someone is right.

Everyone wants to be loved right but not everyone willing to wait for the right love. -Pierre Alex Jeanty

Emotions play a very important role when it comes to bad relationships. Many are uninformed about the bad decisions emotions can fuel, especially when it comes to relationships. Loneliness, lust, jealousy, hurt, insecurity and many more can force you to rush into the wrong relationships. If you let your emotions govern you then they will take you down the wrong path. Everyone who is single feels lonely at times and lust after someone from time to time. However, not everyone respond to those emotions in a proper manner. Instead of practicing self-control and training themselves to operate outside emotions and feelings when it comes to important decisions, they choose to let their emotions lead them, and consequently live in regret later. Emotions often camouflage themselves as wisdom, and instead of doing what’s right, we listen to our emotions and do what we hope is right. Insecurity can make you feel that every relationship you get into was the perfect choice. It is very essential to know yourself, your weaknesses and figure out exactly why you’re entering a relationship.

Being eager to move on, which also can fall under both impatience and emotions, is very important as well when it comes to this topic. Once a relationship ends many are often anxious to move on and move to something better or “ON TO THE NEXT” as most will say it. Rushing to move on often causes many to fall into the wrong relationships. Some who move on are running away from the hurt and pain they downloaded from their previous relationship, some move on as a prideful act. They move on to compete with their ex, to prove that they can do better, and to show they are better without them. Rarely does quickly moving on result to a great result. Moving on because the right one came into your life is great but most move on for the wrong purpose. It is very essential to know why you’re moving on and take time knowing who you’re moving on to.

Relationships are taken lightly nowadays. We date for any reasons, relationships have become a hobby; that is one of the reasons why so many are hurt and torn in the name of love. Love gets accused for so many bad relationship decisions. It is wise to focus on GOD and let him lead you to the right one. Through focusing on your relationship with Him you will become patient, which in the process develops self-control, preventing you from walking into the wrong relationships.